{"id":14818,"date":"2022-01-07T13:19:55","date_gmt":"2022-01-07T13:19:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/api-wordpress-dot-mammafitness-uk.ew.r.appspot.com\/?p=14818"},"modified":"2022-01-07T13:19:55","modified_gmt":"2022-01-07T13:19:55","slug":"saying-no-isnt-so-bad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/","title":{"rendered":"Saying \u2018no\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Like many others, you\u2019ve probably been in that situation where you hear yourself say \u2018yes\u2019 when the inner you is screaming \u2018no\u2019. You regret it as soon as that little word has left your lips \u2013 you\u2019d do anything to turn the clock back a few seconds and have another go. A surprisingly large proportion of people have difficulty saying \u2018no\u2019, and the fact is that this can have serious consequences for your health and well-being. If you spend all your time trying to adapt to your surroundings, you lose yourself, who you are and what you stand for. It creates an inner stress and a feeling of inadequacy, a frustration that you\u2019re not getting your own needs met and, in the long run, you may start to avoid people and occasions so as not to end up in situations where you know you\u2019ll have difficulty saying \u2018no\u2019. Ask yourself what you are afraid of \u2013 saying \u2018no\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad! <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most people want to accommodate others, not cause problems, and come across as \u2018nice\u2019; they imagine that they have to say \u2018yes\u2019 to everything to be a part of the community and fit in. Or else those around them will get fed up, think that they\u2019re boring and unreasonable, and never ask them again. Sometimes it\u2019s a case of your being so used to not thinking about what YOU want deep down that you say \u2018yes\u2019 as a matter of course. You don\u2019t take the time to stop and connect with your gut feeling, that inner voice that points you in the right direction most of the time, if you\u2019ll just dare to start listening and acting on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saying \u2018yes\u2019 sometimes, although you should have said \u2018no\u2019, isn\u2019t the end of the world, but there are people who end up in this situation more often than not. It\u2019s as though the fear of ending up in a conflict situation, hurting someone, regretting things or for a whole lot of other reasons, means they never say \u2018no\u2019. But, as I said, saying \u2018no\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad. On the contrary \u2013 it is necessary to learn to set boundaries in order to develop healthy self-esteem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tips on the way to becoming a \u2018naysayer\u2019<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\u2705 The first thing to do is to figure out the underlying reason why you say \u2018YES\u2019 when you want to say \u2018NO\u2019. Are you even aware that you do that, or do you go around with a gnawing feeling that you\u2019re being taken advantage of, being railroaded or having a whole lot of repressed frustration inside you, the source of which escapes you? Reflect on situations you\u2019ve been in and recognise the feeling and thoughts that usually come up. What do they tell you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2705 Dare to stop and take stock. You don\u2019t have to respond \u2018yes\u2019 or \u2018no\u2019 right away. Ask to be able to get back to the person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2705 Only YOU can show those around you where your boundaries are. You can\u2019t blame others for taking advantage of you if you don\u2019t ever say \u2018no\u2019 and stop them yourself. Maybe other people think you like doing certain things, since you always say \u2018yes\u2019, or your boss hasn\u2019t realised that your workload is excessive when you go the extra mile every time, getting jobs done but at a cost to your health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2705 People who are clear about what they believe, think and will put up with earn other people\u2019s respect. Provided you do this in an open and pleasant manner. Don\u2019t come up with excuses, prevaricate or start long expositions as to the reason why. All you need to say, briefly and succinctly, is: \u2018I\u2019m afraid I have to say \u201cno\u201d\u2019<\/em> or \u2018I can\u2019t this time\u2019<\/em>, depending on what the matter is about, obviously. When it comes to choices or taking a position, try and think along the same lines \u2013 that you don\u2019t need to start an altercation or a debate. You just need to express: \u2018I believe, intend or want to do the following\u2019<\/em>. Every time you do this it will make you stronger. It\u2019ll get easier every time, and in the end it\u2019ll come naturally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2705 Practise, practise, practise \u2013 as in everything we do, we get better at what we practise. Start in the context of people you feel safe and confident with. Maybe at home with your partner. You can pick simple things like what you want to eat for supper, what TV programme the pair of you should watch or what you should do at the weekend. Instead of just saying: \u2018it doesn\u2019t matter \u2013 I don\u2019t mind\u2019<\/em> or asking what your partner wants to do, figure it out for yourself and dare to make a proactive decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember that people who have opinions, say what they think and don\u2019t just \u2018do everything for absolutely everybody\u2019 are actually attractive. Obviously, care, consideration and empathy for others are excellent qualities, but the most important person you should be treating with those qualities is yourself. Everything always starts with YOU.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Like many others, you\u2019ve probably been in that situation where you hear yourself say \u2018yes\u2019 when the inner you is screaming \u2018no\u2019. You regret it as soon as that little…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":14907,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"editor_notices":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[102],"tags":[267,271,113,110,251],"class_list":["post-14818","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motivation","tag-acceptance","tag-cognitive-therapy","tag-vanor","tag-stress","tag-well-being"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSaying \u2018no\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad - Trainimal UK<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Saying \u2018no\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad - Trainimal UK\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Like many others, you\u2019ve probably been in that situation where you hear yourself say \u2018yes\u2019 when the inner you is screaming \u2018no\u2019. You regret it as soon as that little…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Trainimal UK\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-01-07T13:19:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Olga R\u00f6nnberg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Olga R\u00f6nnberg\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Olga R\u00f6nnberg\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/585513ae0862d30bc3989fb617ec9efd\"},\"headline\":\"Saying \u2018no\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-01-07T13:19:55+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":868,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\",\"keywords\":[\"Acceptance\",\"Cognitive therapy\",\"habits\",\"stress\",\"Well-being\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Motivation\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\\\/\",\"name\":\"Saying \u2018no\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad - Trainimal UK\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-01-07T13:19:55+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"\",\"contentUrl\":\"\",\"width\":2500,\"height\":1673},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Saying \u2018no\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/\",\"name\":\"Trainimal UK\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Trainimal UK\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/app\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/2\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/trainimalWMN_logo_black.svg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/app\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/2\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/trainimalWMN_logo_black.svg\",\"width\":1500,\"height\":500,\"caption\":\"Trainimal UK\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/585513ae0862d30bc3989fb617ec9efd\",\"name\":\"Olga R\u00f6nnberg\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/trainimal.com\\\/uk\\\/author\\\/olga\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Saying \u2018no\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad - Trainimal UK","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/","og_locale":"en_GB","og_type":"article","og_title":"Saying \u2018no\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad - Trainimal UK","og_description":"Like many others, you\u2019ve probably been in that situation where you hear yourself say \u2018yes\u2019 when the inner you is screaming \u2018no\u2019. You regret it as soon as that little…","og_url":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/","og_site_name":"Trainimal UK","article_published_time":"2022-01-07T13:19:55+00:00","author":"Olga R\u00f6nnberg","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Olga R\u00f6nnberg","Estimated reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/"},"author":{"name":"Olga R\u00f6nnberg","@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/#\/schema\/person\/585513ae0862d30bc3989fb617ec9efd"},"headline":"Saying \u2018no\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad","datePublished":"2022-01-07T13:19:55+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/"},"wordCount":868,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"","keywords":["Acceptance","Cognitive therapy","habits","stress","Well-being"],"articleSection":["Motivation"],"inLanguage":"en-GB"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/","url":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/","name":"Saying \u2018no\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad - Trainimal UK","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"","datePublished":"2022-01-07T13:19:55+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-GB","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-GB","@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/#primaryimage","url":"","contentUrl":"","width":2500,"height":1673},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/saying-no-isnt-so-bad\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Saying \u2018no\u2019 isn\u2019t so bad"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/#website","url":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/","name":"Trainimal UK","description":"","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-GB"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/#organization","name":"Trainimal UK","url":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-GB","@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/app\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/04\/trainimalWMN_logo_black.svg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/app\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/04\/trainimalWMN_logo_black.svg","width":1500,"height":500,"caption":"Trainimal UK"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/#\/schema\/person\/585513ae0862d30bc3989fb617ec9efd","name":"Olga R\u00f6nnberg","url":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/author\/olga\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14818","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14818"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14818\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14907"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14818"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14818"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trainimal.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14818"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}