I bought that cupboard (in the photo) destined for my dream house while I was still living in a modern flat with no thoughts at all about moving. I saw it by accident in one of those “buy and sell”-groups on Facebook. Without even having room for it in my current flat I bought it without hesitation. WHEN we buy our house with character that cupboard will fit like a glove. Not IF, when.
We often make the mistake when we want something, have a dream or a vision, that we focus on the obstacles first. We paint up a worst-case scenario on everything that can go wrong, or we can’t manage. This gives us a mental block that feeds the brain with thoughts like “it can’t be done”. The brain is quite dumb in that sense and does what we tell it to do, it listens to all our nonsense and turns it into its reality.
The brain has no filter and can’t sort through noise such as “now she’s having crazy thoughts again, thinking she can’t do anything. I’ll prove her wrong”. No quite the opposite the brain registers everything we say and think, places it in a compartment that over time is filled with negative thoughts and pessimism until the compartment finally reaches its limit, it cracks and we fail. You tell yourself “Told you so” without realising that you led yourself down that path by feeding your most important muscle with negative thoughts. Like a destructive internal brain wash by and against yourself.
The brain is a muscle that can be exercised, pumped with the right nutrition which makes the rest of the body work optionally. Nutrition in the form of positive thoughts, compassion for oneself, pep and a belief that it can be done.
As far as humanly possible I live as I preach but like everyone else, I have days when I’m ready to give up. I also want to lie on the sofa in an old dressing gown, woolly socks and eat a bag of sweets while crying my heart out to meaningless series on tv because it’s just so damn hard being me. We ALL have those days. PT’s nutritionists, coaches, phycologists, stars in Hollywood, EVERYONE. But my attitude is this: if I want to and decide to, have the goal clear in my mind, then I can do it.
A few years back as I trained to be a cognitive behavioural coach one of the first tasks was to write a future contract with yourself with goals to attain within a certain timeframe. This is such a good exercise, that starts with a large piece of paper where you draw up two columns. You title the first column “present” and underneath it you list everything that’s good in your life and what you would like to alter. At the bottom of that side write what you need to do to make this change. The second column you title “In x years” and the life scenario you wish for at that point underneath it. Pimp your paper with your favourite colours, stickers, cut outs from magazines or photographs. Make the contract appealing and significant to YOU.
It might sound like hocus pocus but all the points on my future contract are fulfilled. Such as starting my own business, move from the countryside to the city and buy the “dream house”. Consider that in this time frame I had separated but then found my way back to my husband, so the idea of a dream house felt very distant.
I resigned from my stable job for the council and started my own business without a safety net to fall back on, I was in a small apartment with three children as a single mum. Dream scenario? Hardly! But the conditions have nothing to do with it. It’s all about attitude, purpose, stamina and working with the power of your mind EVERY day.
Not “IF I lose 2 stones I will….” -but WHEN. Don’t wait for everything you want IF you reach your goals like some sort of punishment tactic. Instead take that salsa class or buy that little black dress NOW, today. You should live as if you’re already there. Two stone lighter and a hottie on the dancefloor with all eyes on YOU as you sweep across the floor in your little black number. Feel your feet touch the floor, hear the music and the laughter from your dance partner and others in the room, enjoy the scent of your far too expensive perfume. Experience with all your senses!
So how about that cupboard? It’s standing where it was intended in my dream house built in 1920. The house I moved into a while back, in my mind and with my senses, bought furniture for and decorated but only physically moved to about a week ago.
Not IF but WHEN – in your mind you can go anywhere you want to go, be whomever you choose to be, and your brain won’t know the difference so start now.